Give No Quarter!

Fifty nine seconds!!!!? Old friendships be damned – make him sprint for it Oscar! You took over thirty minutes out of the whole damn peloton back in week two, do it again; make the bums work a little more! Crypes, it’s under a minute for blastsake, what’s it take, a thirty second deficit to make it worth going for? Twenty, ten? Bollocks to old traditions on the Champs; this has been a yo-yo Tour, why not push the envelope to the end! I bet if the top five were all really close, like all within a minute and a few ticks of the second hand, boy then you’d see fireworks all the way up to the Arc de Triumph. That would be as it should be. Nuts to this parade lap mentality, didn’t Merckx tell Floyd to fight it out? Damn the torpedoes men – you should all want to fight it out! Kessler and company lead out Kloden for a breakaway win. Oscar puts on his no-prisoners grouchface and storms to an angry final claim on the jaune shirt. Quickstep and Davitomon join forces to drive Cadel onto the podium (they basically get paid from the same bank account); anything just don’t stop the madness now! It’s been three weeks of hot dice unpredictability, spectacular failures and astounding gambits and now they’re all gonna just sit up and parade into Paris before giving it over to the sprinters? Fie! Most exciting Tour my ass –it’ll only top the pops if no gifts are given on the final day. Viva!